Monday, April 20, 2009

the head under the bed

"This is a dream I had this past Saturday night:

I think the dream started with me in my bedroom (a fictional bedroom, not a bedroom I've ever actually been in) and the room STANK. A horrible, awful smell saturated the air. The stench was coming from a pickled, severed head that I'd been hiding under my bed for weeks. I had been an accomplice to my friend Joanie murdering someone. She did the actual killing, but I helped her plan it and get away with it. I don't know who she killed or why she killed them. But I had known she was going to do it and I kept her secret and so I was just as guilty as she was.


I seem to remember thinking, in my dream, that I had thought it was a good idea at the time but now, at the time of the dream, I was full of regret. I knew it was a terrible thing she'd done, a terrible thing I'd been a part of, but there was nothing I could do now. I knew she'd disposed of the body, but she'd given me the head in a jar to hide. And now the head was stinking up my bedroom and I needed to get rid of it IMMEDIATELY.

Because we were both afraid of getting caught, I couldn't just openly say to her, "Hey! We need to get rid of that head I've been hiding for you." I had to hint and talk around the issue and try to make her understand that we needed to figure out a place for the head that wasn't under my bed. I think we were at a job together when I tried to talk to her about it. There were a lot of people buzzing around. I could not get her into a private place. But she caught on to what I was trying to say and agreed to help me move the pickled head.


In addition to the guilt I was feeling, I was terrified that we were going to get caught. I was terrified that I'd be caught by police and sent to jail and all of my family and friends would find out what I'd done. And I was terribly ashamed of myself. I couldn't believe I'd let myself get wrapped up in a murder. I wanted, more than anything in the world, to go back in time and change my actions. But I couldn't. So I just needed to get rid of the head. I hoped that if we got rid of the head, some of my fear and guilt would be relieved. So she and I sneak our way into my bedroom. I get the head in its jar out from under my bed. I am disgusted by the smell, but not by the fact that I am holding a human head in a jar. I don't want to look at it, but I don't mind holding it.


We are trying to sneak it out of my room, so that we can bury it in a hole Joanie has dug, when we are suddenly surrounded by people and I don't know how the fuck we won't get caught now. We're swarmed by people and I'm holding a pickled, severed human head in ajar. And then I wake up. When I woke up, I felt like my heart was in a vice grip. SO MUCH ANXIETY. I had to lay there, breathing, saying over and over "It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Everything is ok. It was just a dream." It took me a little while to calm down enough to be able to fall back asleep.

Joanie, from the second dream, she is someone I've only recently become friends with even though I've known her for two years. I really like her, but she has this way of nagging her boyfriend that drives me crazy. I can tell he hates it and I just want to shake her and tell her to lay off him. Leave him alone. But she nags and nags and points out his "flaws" in front of people and I think it's awful. And ever since I noticed that about her, even thoughI like everything else about her, that one thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It makes me feel like she's weak because a strong woman would not do that to a man."


First of all, thank you for sending your dream in for a free analysis! Please feel free to email me your dreams at Rachel.Beezy88@gmail.com if you'd like a free dream reading.

Your mind has formed a very complex and rather gruesome set of images here, but I wouldn't worry too much about the blood and gore of it all- obviously the severed head is a repugnant image, but your lack of concern over anything but the foul odor it emits leads me to believe it's a stand-in for something less serious.

Smells are emotionally invocative. It is commonly thought that instances of deja vu are a result of our noses catching a smell that triggers a subconscious scent memory; for this reason, catching a scent in a dream is only as significant as the emotion envoked by the smell. In the case of this dream, the smell is horrible, worse than the sight of a rotting head- and the feeling it inspires is anxiety of being caught as well as guilt over what you've done.

Let's about beds and bedrooms. In previous entries I have mentioned that houses, particularly fictional houses, are representations of the self as seen by the subconscious; that idea can be layered over some of the accepted ideas about the specifics of your dream. Beds are places of slumber, illness and, ahem, private moments with loved ones... For that reason, beds are seen as embodiments of our secrets, our private selves, or sexual discovery. As an extension of the bed, the bedroom is the place for our most intimate inner behaviors.

In this way, the dream intensifies the idea of the ugly, stinky secret you're hiding. All the sneaking around that you're describing reinforces that as well. Because you're hiding something deeply shameful under your bed, I'm inclined to think that the dream reflects the anxiety of the discovery of an ugly secret of some kind- but let's dig a little deeper before we decide.

A person's head is the embodiment of their self-image, it is the source of their perceptions and the center of their esteem; additionally it can represent their accomplishments. Mutilation of a head is often considered an image who is calling their integrity into question- in this case, it's Joanie who has mutilated the head, and murdered the person. You're only fault is in your allowing her to store the filthy thing in your most private of places.

Digging into the idea of murder, some of the better dictionaries will tell us that a murder is an end to an old way of thinking. Are you sensing a deeper pattern here? From what you're telling me about this person, and what the dictionaries are telling me about your dream, you're feeling quite anxious about this friendship. You don't seem certain enough to say this is someone you no longer want to know, but you've just caught a whiff of something nasty and it's causing you to realize that you will not be able to keep your distaste secret for long. The remaining question is, is this something you should address with your friend? Should you accept her "weakness" and keep her around? Or simply let her fade into the back ground? It seems clear that you won't be able to hide your feelings much longer.

Thanks again for sending in this great dream. I hope my interpretation of it has been helpful, please feel free to post comments here or email me directly at
Rachel.Beezy88@gmail.com for a free and fast reading of another dream!

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